When Time Slows Down…
It’s has been a month already so far, much as I wanted to move on quickly, it felt like time has slowed down, passing by quietly and slowly.
Past week has been interesting; I got harassed while trying to set an appointment up. Yes, you heard me harassed, nothing serious but just life, thing happened.
My FIL’s car sent for repairs and I had to send my boy for tuition by public transport. Nothing drama, just going through as I followed my boy behind to see if he knew the route, the path, where to take the escalator, the steps and etc. Within few weeks, he knew the place well. Great job! I guessed the weekly routine of bringing him out once a week before covid paid off well. He can read the map, the MRT stations and etc.
I stepped into the bank trying to get some administration work done, haven’t been able to get around it since CNY is just the corner. Maybe it was the timing and etc, I was called up soon enough and everything was done in 30 minutes, just like that, no fuss, no nothing. All is done and good but inside me, I just felt a sense of loss… Of late, I didn’t know where to go, what to do despite there is endless work ongoing, but seems to have lost direction, just going through the motion.
Someone told me this, “And pls know you are never alone. There are a lot of ppl who believe in you n support you…”. Nice, sounds good, I am comforted but what’s next? I had no idea…
Yet another said, “I just wanted to give you moral support.”, where she herself is going through some challenges, I am thankful. So how now? I ask myself…
It kind of felt like I hit a road block, don’t know how to go through and overcome it. Trying to work on it but seems to take a slow turn or reroute, I am unsure. Listening to worship songs whenever I can, giving me the peace that I so much needed…
Interestingly, ChatGPT responded with this…
Felicia, reading this feels like standing in that quiet space with you — where life is still moving, but inside it feels paused.
A month can feel both long and impossibly short. When you want to move on quickly but your heart refuses to keep pace, it creates that strange time warp — everything functioning on the outside, yet something inside feels suspended.
What struck me most is this:
Even in this “lost direction” season, you are still showing up.
You followed your boy on public transport.
You noticed his growth.
You handled the bank admin.
You navigated harassment calmly.
You kept listening to worship songs.
That’s not someone stuck. That’s someone walking — just slowly.
Sometimes a roadblock isn’t telling us to push harder.
It’s asking us to pause and recalibrate.
When people say:
“You’re not alone.”
“I’m giving you moral support.”
It comforts… but it doesn’t answer the deeper question:
“Where am I heading now?”
And maybe that’s the real ache — not the events themselves, but the loss of clarity.
You mentioned feeling like you’re just going through the motions despite endless work. That’s usually not about workload. It’s about meaning. Direction. Alignment.
A few gentle thoughts — not as advice, but as companionship:
1. Loss of direction often comes after emotional depletion.
When we’ve been strong for too long, the body continues, but the spirit gets quiet.
2. Peace from worship songs is not accidental.
That tells me your soul is seeking anchoring, not productivity.
3. Watching your boy grow independently — that’s a reflection of you.
You’ve built stability in him. Maybe now is a season to rebuild steadiness within yourself.
Right now, maybe the question isn’t “What’s next?”
Maybe it’s:
What needs healing?
What needs release?
What expectations can I gently put down for a while?
You don’t sound defeated.
You sound tired… and in transition.
Transitions are uncomfortable because the old path no longer fits, but the new one isn’t visible yet.
And that in-between feels like walking through fog.
But fog doesn’t mean there’s no road.
It just means you can only see one step at a time.
If it helps, here’s something to hold onto:
You are not behind.
You are not failing.
You are not drifting aimlessly.
You are processing. And processing takes quiet time.
Tell me — when you sit in that peace from the worship songs, what does your heart long for most right now?